brenna's second birthday

On Thursday morning, my mom took Brenna to her 2-year-old doctor's appointment because it was at the same time as my 38 week (and last!) OB appointment. I couldn't change either time or date, so my mom offered to help us out.

Brenna is 28 lb. 4 oz. and 35.5 inches (still very tall, but she has only grown half an inch since her 18-month appointment). She didn't get any shots, though she needs one after June 10th. I warned my mom that Brenna is difficult to pin down, and the doctor couldn't even check her heart because she fought him so much. He told my mom that the 2-year-old appointment is the hardest!

After my final appointment (I have officially gained 37 lb. this pregnancy), I met Brenna back at my parents' house, where Erin, Maura and Bobby were waiting. My mom and Erin wanted to give Brenna her presents before her birthday on Saturday. My parents got her clothes, a Disney Princess chair, a Disney Princess sleeping bag and a Little People farm. Erin and her family got her a Cinderella blanket with her name on it, a Sleeping Beauty dress-up dress and Disney Princess flip flops. Mommom got her clothes, pj's and a Disney Princess ball. Brenna was thrilled with it all. We all took her to MM farm and had an ice cream lunch, and then I took her home for a much needed nap.

On Friday, after Brenna's last day of school, Jamie, Brenna and I celebrated her birthday with a pizza party and more early present opening.

Jamie and I gave her a Little Mermaid tricycle, doll stroller, doll high chair, Little Mermaid and Cinderella "big girl" bath towels, Dora and Diego videos, a Dora book, her first Barbie, a Disney Princess bat and ball and her first (pink) baseball glove. She really loved her new bike, but I won't lie - she was equally as happy with the purse Jamie brought home for her when picking up party supplies... from the Dollar Store!

It's all fun and games until Daddy takes too long to put your bike together.


That night, Brenna went to bed fully aware that her birthday and party were the next day. She might have actually fallen asleep with a smile on her face, saying, "Happy me! Suprise me? Happy me!" We practiced singing, "Happy Birthday to Brenna/me," and she kept talking about her party and cake and balloons, and woke up talking about it all when Jamie and I went in to greet her together. It was her special day!

Unlike her big first birthday party, we decided to have just the immediate family over this year. But, that still meant more than 20 people at our house. Luckily, everything was great, including the weather. Most of the BBQ food was pretty good (Jamie grilled and I made pasta salad for the first time and my favorite knock-off of California Pizza Kitchen's BBQ Chicken Salad). The only thing that I screwed up were the potatoes, which were delicious when I made them for me and Jamie recently, but I didn't factor in that when you make 10 times the amount two people eat, they need 10 times as long to cook. Oh, well, Jamie was great and did a ton of the cleaning up so that I could sit down, and I think everyone had a nice time.

On round three of birthday presents, Brenna scored with a Radio Flyer inch worm, tea party books and clothes from Cathy, Jim, Danny and Matt; outfits and a kite from Kelly and Ian; outdoor/summer-themed gifts (a new baby pool, sunglasses, pool noodle, big rubber ball, bathing suit, Dora towel, freeze pops and two adorable outfits) from Ryan and Courtney; an art/magnet table from Mike and Camille; and lots of mess-free art supplies from Kevin and Jessie. Many things were wrapped in pink or Disney Princesses, and it looks like the Disney Princesses threw up all over our house. She is one lucky little girl!



When it was time for cake, Brenna watched everyone with a silly half-smile as they actually sang the song she knew was coming for so long. She even knew exactly how to blow out a birthday candle, but we forgot to tell her you shouldn't grab for it immediately after the flame goes out!






After much silliness from Brenna and Maura (shrieking, dressing up in princess costumes, dancing and rolling around on the floor, etc.), the night eventually came to an end. By the time all the guests left, Brenna didn't go to bed until almost 10:30 p.m. We talked about how much everyone loved her before she finally closed her eyes, and we all agreed that she had a perfect second birthday.

Happy you, Brenna, happy you!

last day of school

Today (the 22nd), we woke Brenna up for her last day of school (due to my maternity leave, she will be home with me this summer), but she was going out in style! Because tomorrow is her birthday, she took in cupcakes for all of her friends, which she was very excited about. They made her a glittery birthday crown, and her teacher even bought her two new outfits and a layette for the baby!

Jamie and I are really going to miss Brenna's pre-school, it has been so good for her, and she has been so happy there. She skips out of the house each morning with Jamie to get there.

Toddlers have to be walking well to attend her school - she's still the 2nd youngest one there. Since the baby would not be able to go, and we want the girls together, we had to look at other childcare options for next year. We actually found an in-home situation starting in August that we are very comfortable with for a year, and we plan to switch both girls back to Brenna's school in the summer of 2010.

However, even though we plan to go back eventually, both Jamie and I were sad, and relieved she doesn't yet realize she won't see some of her favorite faces again for a very long time.

The first day of school/daycare is always hard enough (click here to see how much Brenna has changed since her first day in August), but you know you found someplace very special when the last day of school is just as hard.

When I was teaching her the colors, it was so obvious they were being taught at school, too, since she learned them so quickly. When I would sing songs to her, it would crack me up that she already knew the tune, complete with motions. And yesterday, when she took an air pump and brought the sides of the tube together and exclaimed, "A circle, Mommy!" Jamie and I laughed... we didn't know she knew her shapes!

Thank you to Brenna's teachers and the owner (a friend of ours) for making Brenna's year such a great one. Thank you for caring so much for our daughter.

last day of work

Memorial Day weekend begins after work today, which flows into my maternity leave, and I don't have to work again until August 17th!

I know the days are going to fly by, and I will hardly be laying around relaxing. I'm sure I will actually be working harder at home than I do at work. Especially considering I'm at work, and I'm writing this. But, for right now, I'm just going to enjoy this day.

I feel like I'm a senior, and it's the last day of high school. I am seriously jealous of teachers, like my mother and sister, who get to feel like this every year. I often wish I became a teacher, but according to my parents, "summers off", was not a good enough reason.

My boss recently asked me how I was feeling, and I told him that if he really wanted to know, it felt like something was going to fall out of me at any minute. If I had become a teacher, it probably wouldn't be appropriate to say the first thing that comes to mind all the time like that. Maybe that's why my parents talked me out of teaching. Good call, Mom and Dad.

Though it probably wasn't appropriate to say that to my boss, either...

emotional basket case

I will be 37 weeks pregnant tomorrow, and the baby is now full term! That means that if I was to have the baby anytime after midnight (a pretty good chance of that considering the baby is happily torturing me with her extreme movements, proving she doesn't want to leave anytime soon), she will no longer be considered premature, and her lungs should be fully developed to survive with no medical intervention. That is a huge relief, and I should be so happy we reached this "safe" milestone, right?

Well, I am, but I am also an emotional basket case. Seriously. Anyone who approaches me should be forewarned: back away slowly, or I will probably start sobbing and blow my nose all over you. I actually am sitting on my couch right now instead of work because I was fairly certain I was going to have a nervous breakdown there, so I left.

Okay, I really only left because I know my co-workers didn't want to hang out with me and my pink eye. I had to go into the office just to grab some things to work on at home, and I'm sure that the lady that sits next to me wiped the entire office down with Lysol when I left.

Of course, I'm not just working from my couch, I'm also watching Discovery Health and TLC. I cried when the baby was born on the show Birth Day. I sobbed during Deliver Me: Home Edition when the couple who lost two baby girls (20 minutes after they were born from a genetic disease) went to Ethiopia to adopt a baby girl. I just can't get it together.

Here are the things - in addition to the poem I posted last night - that made me cry in the past 24 hours:

1. I cried in the bathroom last night when Brenna touched the toilet seat (I'm a germophobe), and I almost lost it when giving her a bath, which I can hardly do anymore.
2. I cried when I was watching The Real Housewives of New York City Reunion, and I started choking on some stomach acid that came back up out of nowhere. I have had really bad heartburn throughout this pregnancy, but this particular time, it burned like hell.
3. I cried when Brenna would not allow us to put in her eyedrops this morning. She was sobbing and throwing her body around, and Jamie and I were frustrated, and we both yelled at her. We usually spend our mornings joking with her and talking about the exciting things she'll do that day, so I felt bad that we made her cry and started her day off negatively. And, yet, she still gave me a huge hug and smile and told me she loved me as she was leaving. She's so awesome, I could cry over that.
4. I cried when I could not find anything to wear to work. My belly must have dropped, and I have so few shirts that are long enough to cover it. When I went to get the one I wanted to wear, I found that Jamie had washed it last night, but it never made it to the dryer.
5. I cried on the way to work while I was talking to Jamie on the phone. My head was throbbing, and my eyes hurt. We were talking about a house that is for sale in the neighborhood next to us (Erin and Rob's neighborhood). This particular house is going to be an amazing deal for the potential buyers, and we want to live in that neighborhood someday. However, we probably won't be able to jump on the opportunity (even if we could afford the mortgage payments) due to our lack of down payment funds and the amount we could get for our house in this market.
6. I cried on the way home from work, talking to Jamie, telling him that I was leaving work.
7. I cried during the Johnson's No More Tears (ironic, huh?) commercial because they had all of these adorable babies getting their baths, and the voiceover said, "Enjoy every minute. It goes by so fast," because I know that it does!

I am a freaking mess. I am sitting here, 38 pounds heavier than I was last summer, wearing a too-short shirt and my 10-year-old glasses so I can see out of my bloodshot eyes. It's okay to feel bad for Jamie. You should.

loving two

A poem was emailed to me for the first time about two years ago, and it touched me as a new mom. I've received it again a few times since then, and I got filled up each time.

And now, here I am, and the poem is exactly where I am at in my life, so now I'm really crying. I can't stop thinking about my first baby, who is such a Mommy's girl, and how everything is going to change for her in two short weeks.

Having sisters, I know that Brenna is about to get the greatest gift, but I want to shelter her from any pain, hurt or resentment she is going to feel in the next few months. I want her to always know that when she says, "Mommy, you cuddle me?" in her cute little voice, I will always have the time to say yes.

I treasure my relationship with Brenna, yet I don't doubt that I will love this baby as much. I know that I will. I am so excited to meet my second daughter, but I am scared about how the changes that are coming will affect my relationship with my first. This poem describes my feelings perfectly.

Loving Two

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you’ve never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, “Please love only me”.

And I hear myself telling you in mine, “I can’t”, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying her, as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times – only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how she adores you – as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you.

I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.

And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you – only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you’ll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you – you each have your own supply.

I love you – both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

Author Unknown

two weeks

I'm finally all caught up with my 2009 updates, and I can begin blogging regularly like I used to. Finally.

So, let's see.... one week from tomorrow is my last day of work before my maternity leave. And, two weeks from today, I am going to be the mother of two.

Oh. My. God.

I had an ultrasound last week, and our baby is definitely a girl. She was already measuring to be 7 pounds! Which explains why I feel like I've been kicked in the crotch (she is in position and very low).

If that was uncomfortable enough, everyone in my house has pink eye. Guess which lovely lady brought that home?

this blog needs a makeover

I have really let this blog go to hell, huh? It's funny how I used to blog every day or every other day.

Here I am, 35 weeks pregnant with Baby #2, and she deserves the first year and a half of her life (at least) blogged about just like Brenna, right? I think so!

Only, this place is called meghanjamieandbrenna.blogspot. I think she might feel a bit left out.

So, now I have to decide what to do. Do I start a new blog? I would like to copy and paste all relevant information from this one to that one, but I'm not sure how to do that exactly. I'm going to give this some thought, but I'm going to start blogging again soon. And, I really am. This time, I'm not like Jamie, who says he's going to run a marathon or lose 20 lbs. and we all just laugh at him because everyone who knows him knows he's ALL TALK. I'm actually going to walk the walk, I promise.

Mainly, so my second child doesn't hate me.

While I'm on the topic of this blog sucking, that blurry picture of Brenna on the right side of the screen (at four months) is really pathetic. I'm sorry to anyone that is reading this for how ugly this blog is. It must hurt your eyes.